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Rock It To The Moon

"Welcome to the Jungle (Cruise)"

from the album
Rock It to the Moon

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Welcome to the Jungle (Cruise)

Lyrics by Roy (with apologies to Guns N' Roses)

Welcome to the jungle,
My name's Captain Ben.
Wave goodbye to the folks on shore
You won't see them again.
Please watch your step and watch your head
Sit wherever you please.
Feel the mist cover you with a tropical disease.

It's the jungle
Come and cruise the jungle.
Laugh at all of my jokes,
P-p-please, please
They're from 1963.

Welcome to the jungle,
No danger here today.
That tiger can jump twenty feet,
But we're ten feet away.
And now you see on your left
Ganesh the jungle god.
To our right's another one,
He's a monkey god named Bob.

In the jungle
Ahead in the jungle,
Wash the the the the elephants
Oh I, I hope they brought their trunks!

Welcome to the jungle,
Watch those big gorillas play.
You think they got that jeep turned over
Me, I see it every day.
Look ahead you'll see Schwitzer falls.
They named it for Dr. Falls.
I've told that joke ten times today,
And I tell you that that takes balls.

In the jungle,
There's hippos in the jungle.
They might ram the boat for
F-f-fun, fun.
Glad I got back my gun!

And now as we turn you can see
The water's back side
Back side
Back side
Back side

That guy gets the point.
He's in the jungle, baby
My last crew died.

In the jungle,
Natives in the jungle
Dancing the Hokey Po-k-k-key, key.

In the jungle,
There's rapids in the jungle
That you, you, you, you barely see.

In the jungle,
Sam is in the jungle.
One of his for one of y-y-yours, yours.

No more jungle,
Time to leave the jungle.
If you had fun, I'm Ben
If not then my name's Kurt -- ha!


This song is a parody of "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns n' Roses. At the time of this writing, it is easily our most popular piece, and also the one we get the most mail and complaints about. Responding to the most common items in order:

  1. Yes, we know that the jokes aren't all told in correct ride order. Certain liberties had to be taken to make the song work.
  2. We know the jokes aren't really from 1963, but no real date sounded as good and the year is just symbolic for "old" anyway.
  3. No we didn't forget whatever joke you're writing to tell us we forgot to mention. If the song included every joke from the ride, it wouldn't be a song, it'd be an opera.
  4. No we're not going to rewrite the lyrics because they changed the ride. Okay, maybe we are. We haven't decided yet.
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